Wednesday, 21 December 2011

a nazi, a nigger and a nightowl enter a bar...

the nigger walks up to and then leans on the bar. takes a cloth from his pocket and wipes his brow. The barman walks up to the nigger but then seeing also the nazi changes direction moving to serve the nazi first who has walked to the opposite end of the counter.

The nazi angrily stares at the barman. The barman blankly looks back at him unconcerened waiting for the nazi to order. the nazi perturbed by the barmans composure orders a large whiskey. the whiskey is served and the nazi collects his drink. he shoots the nigger a glance and the another angry stare at the barman which again creates no response in the barman. so the nazi sits down.

the barman now moves to the nigger.
'yes?'
'a coke and some cornbread' the nigger says in a southern drawl
the barman takes a piece of cornbread from under the plastic covered plate. takes a coke out of the fridge and hands them to the nigger who in turn hands the barman the money required.
the nigger walks to the opposite end of the bar to the nazi and sits down facing the wall.

the nightowl now enters. she has been happily flying the night skies looking for food when whoosh she enters a bright room full of frightful gaggling creatures and no means of escape. the nazi shakes his head with contempt once more fixing the barman with his stare.

the nigger is aghast at the owl. he jumps from his table and begins chasing the owl maniacally. crashing into others sitting down as he flails his large arms at the panic stricken bird. the owl in a complete frenzy flys into the corner where the nazi sits and braying its head falls to the floor. the nigger still in a great tizwoz ploughs into the nazi in an effort to grab the owl.
the nazi on contact with the nigger stands up and draws his luger. he shoots the nigger twice in the chest. the nigger collapses on the floor next to the night owl. the owl flails on the floor with a broken neck still trying to escape.the  nigger draws a long intake of air then fatally gargles it with the blood in his lungs.

the nazi once more stares at the barman. "you are a disgrace!". the barman angrily stares back at the nazi in a 30 second showdown.
the nazi reholsters his luger and with a military march raising each leg in turn up to the height of his waist exits the bar.

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

cannibal cuisine

the working man. tired from his hard days work craves something packed with fat and sugar. His choice is a plump white boys breast with fries. sourced rather carelessly from somewhere in the western world. the breast oozes hot blood, rich and sweet like a dessert wine and the meat is tender and easily digested.

now the man of taste and decency who doesnt commit himself to the vulgarities of manual labour prefers something more refined, a little acerbic. His choice is dessicated somalian rump of a starved child and the putrescent liver of an old nigerian woman. each ingredient sourced with rigour and coming with a certificate of authenticity.
the rump comes with the salty, leathery skin still on and the tough dry rump is contrasted with the rotting gloop of the decayed liver.